Modesty is the appendage of sobriety, and is
to chastity, to temperance, and to humility, as the fringes are to a garment.
It is a grace of God, that moderates the over-activeness and curiosity of the
mind, and orders the passions of the body and external actions, and is directly
opposed to curiosity, to boldness, to indecency. The practice of modesty
consists in the following rules:
1. Inquire not into the secrets of God, but
be content to learn thy duty according to the quality of thy person or
employment; that i plainly, if thou beest not concerned in the conduct of
others; but if thou beest a teacher, learn it so as may best enable thee to
discharge thy office. God's commandments were proclaimed to all the world; but
God's counsels are to himself and to his secret ones, when they are admitted
within the veil.
2. Inquire not into the things which are too hard
for thee, but learn modestly to know thy infirmities and abilities; and raise
not thy mind up to inquire into mysteries of state, or the secrets of
government, or difficulties theological, if thy employment really be, or thy
understanding be judged to be, of a lower rank.
3. Let us not inquire into the affairs of others
that concern us not, but be busied within ourselves and our own spheres; ever
remembering that to pry into the actions or interests of other men not under
our charge, may minister to pride, to tyranny, to uncharitableness, to trouble,
but can never consist with modesty, unless where duty or the mere intentions of
charity and relation do warrant it.
4. Never listen at the doors or windows: for, besides that it contains in it
danger and a snare, it is also an invading thy neighbour's privacy, and a
laying that open which he therefore enclosed, that it might not be open. Never
ask what he carried covered s o curiously; for it is enough that it is covered
curiously. Hither also is reducible that we never open letters without public
authority, or reasonably presumed leave, or great necessity, or charity.
Every man hath in his own life sins enough, in
his own mind trouble enough, in his own fortune evils enough, and in
performance of his offices failings more than enough, to entertain his own
inquiry; so that curiosity after the affairs of others cannot be without envy,
and an evil mind. What is it to me, if my neighbour's grandfather were a
Syrian, or his grandmother illegitimate; or that another is indebted five
thousand pounds, or whether his wife be expensive? But commonly curious
persons, or (as the apostle's phrase is) `busybodies,' are not solicitous or
inquisitive into the beauty and order of a well-governed family, or after the
virtues of an excellent person; but if there be anything for which men keep
locks and bars, and porters, things that blush to see the light, and either are
shameful in manners, or private in nature, these things are their care and
their business. But if great things will satisfy our inquiry, the course of the
sun and moon, the spots in their faces, the firmament of heaven, and the
supposed orbs, the ebbing and flowing of the sea, are work enough for us; or if
this be not, let him tell me whether the number of the stars be even or odd,
and when they began to be so, since some ages have discovered new stars which
the former knew not, but might have seen if they had been where now they are
fixed. If these be too troublesome search lower, and tell me why this turf this
year brings forth a daisy, and the next year a plantain; why the apple bears
his seed in his heart, and wheat bears it in his head: let him tell why a
graft, taking nourishment from a crab-stock, shall have a fruit more noble than
its nurse and parent: let him say why the best of oil is at the top, the best
of wine in the middle, and the best of honey at the bottom, otherwise than it
is in some liquors that are thinner, and in some that are thicker. But these
things are to such as please busybodies; they must feed upon tragedies, and
stories of misfortunes and crimes: and yet tell them ancient stories of the
ravishment of chaste maidens, or the debauchment of nations, or the extreme
poverty of learned persons, or the persecutions of the old saints, or the
changes of government, and sad accidents happening in royal families amongst
the Arsacidae, the Caesars, the Ptolemies, these were enough to scratch the
itch of knowing sad stories; but unless you stem them something sad and new,
something that is done within the bounds of their own knowledge or relation, it
seems tedious and unsatisfying; which shows plainly, it is an evil spirit; envy
and idleness married together, and begot curiosity. Therefore Plutarch rarely
well compares curious and inquisitive ears to the execrable gates of cities,
out of which only malefactors and hangmen and tragedies pass - nothing that is
chaste or holy. If a physician should go from house to house unsent for, and
inquire what woman hath a cancer in her bowels, or what man hath a fisula in
his colic-gut, though he could pretend to cure it, he would be almost as
unwelcome as the disease itself; and therefore it is inhuman to inquire after
crimes and disasters without pretence of amending them, but only to discover
them. We are not angry with searchers and publicans, when they look only on
public merchandise; but when they break open trunks, and pierce vessels, and
unrip packs, and open sealed letters.
Curiosity is the direct incontinency of the
spirit: and adultery itself in its principle is many times nothing but a
curious inquisition after, and envying of, another man's enclosed pleasures;
and there have been many who refused fairer objects that they might ravish an
enclosed woman from her retirement and single possessor. But these inquisitions
are seldom without danger, never with our baseness; they are neither just, nor
honest, nor delightful, and very often useless to the curious inquirer. For men
stand upon their guards against them, as they secure their meat against harpies
and cats, laying all their counsels and secrets out of their way; or as men
clap their garments close about them, when the searching and saucy winds would
discover their nakedness; as knowing that what men willingly hear they do
willingly speak of. Knock, therefore, at the door before you enter upon your
neighbour's privacy; and remember, that there is no difference between entering
into his house, and looking into it.
1. Let us always bear about us such
impressions of reverence and fear of God as to tremble at his voice, to express
our apprehensions of his greatness in all great accidents, in popular
judgments, loud thunders, tempests, earthquakes; not only for fear of being
smitten ourselves, or that we are concerned in the accident, but also that we
may humble ourselves before his Almightiness, and express that infinite
distance between his infiniteness and our weaknesses, at such times especially
when he gives such visible arguments of it. He that is merry and airy at shore
when he sees a sad and a loud tempest on the sea, or dances briskly when God
thunders from heaven, regards not when God speaks to all the world, but is
possessed with a firm immodesty.
2. Be reverent, modest, and reserved, in the
presence of thy betters, giving to all, according to their equality, their
titles of honour, keeping distance, speaking little, answering pertinently, not
interposing without leave or reason, not answering to a question propounded to
another; and even present to thy superiors the fairest side of thy discourse,
of thy temper, of thy ceremony, as being ashamed to serve excellent persons
with unhandsome intercourse.
3. Never lie before a king or a great person, nor
stand in a lie when thou art accused, nor offer to justify what is indeed a
fault; but modestly be ashamed of it, ask pardon, and make amends.
4. Never boast of thy sin, but at least lay a
veil upon thy nakedness and shame, and python hand before thine eyes, that thou
mayest have this beginning of repentance, to believe thy sin to be thy shame.
For he that blushes not at his crime, but adds shamelessness to his shame, hath
no instrument left to restore him to the hopes of virtue.
5. Be not confident and affirmative in an
uncertain matter, but report things modestly and temperately, according to the
degree of that persuasion, which is, or ought to be, begotten in thee by the
efficacy of the authority, or the reason inducing thee.
6. Pretend not to more knowledge than thou hast,
but be content to seem ignorant where thou art so, lest thou beest either
brought to shame, or retirest into shamelessness.
1. In your prayers, in churches and places of
religion, use reverent postures, great attention, grave ceremony, the lowest
gestures of humility, remembering that we speak to God, in our reverence to
whom we cannot possibly exceed; but that the expression of this reverence be
according to law or custom, and the example of the most prudent and pious
persons; that is, let it be the best in its kind to the best of essences.
2. In all public meetings, private addresses, in
discourse, in journeys, use those forms of salutation, reverence, and decency,
which the custom prescribes, and is usual amongst the most sober persons,
giving honour to whom honour belongeth, taking place of none of thy betters,
and in all cases of question concerning civil precedency giving it to any one
that will take it, if it be only thy own right that is in question.
3. Observe the proportion of affections in all
meetings, and to all persons: be not merry at a funeral, nor sad upon a
festival' but rejoice with them that rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
4. Abstain from wanton and dissolute laughter,
petulant and uncomely jests, loud talking, jeering, and all such actions, which
in civil account are called indecencies and incivilities.
5. Towards your parents use all modesty of duty
and humble carriage; towards them and all your kindred, be severe in the
modesties of chastity, ever fearing, lest the freedoms of natural kindness
should enlarge into any neighbourhood of unhandsomeness. For all incestuous
mixtures, and all circumstances and degrees towards it, are the highest
violations of modesty in the world; for therefore incest is grown to be so high
a crime, especially in the last periods of the world, because it breaks that
reverence which the consent of all nations and the severity of human laws hath
enjoined towards our parents and nearest kindred, in imitation of that law
which God gave to the Jews in prosecution of modesty in this instance.
6. Be a curious observer of all those things
which are of good report, and are parts of public honesty. For public fame, and the sentence of prudent and public
persons is the measure of good and evil in things indifferent, and charity
requires us to comply with those fancies and affections which are agreeable to
nature, or the analogy of virtue, or public laws, or old customs. It is against
modesty for a woman to marry a second husband as long as she bears a burden by
the first; or to admit a second love while her funeral tears are not wiped from
her cheeks. It is against public honesty to do some lawful actions of privacy
in public theatres, and therefore in such cases retirement is a duty of
7. Be grave, decent, and modest, in thy clothing
and ornament; never let it be above thy condition not always equal to it; never
light or amorous discovering a nakedness through a thin veil which thou
pretendest to hide; never to lay a snare for a soul; but remember what becomes
a Christian, professing holiness, chastity, and the discipline of the holy
Jesus: and the first effect of this let your servants feel by your gentleness
and aptness to be pleased with their usual diligence, and ordinary conduct. For the man or woman that is dressed with
anger and impatience wears pride under their robes, and immodesty above.
8. Hither also is to be reduced singular and
affected walking, proud, nice, and ridiculous gestures of body, painting and
lascivious dressings; all of which together God reproves by the prophet: `The
Lord saith, Because the daughters of Sion are haughty, and walk with
stretched-forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and make
a tinkling with their feet; therefore the Lord will smite her with a scab of
the crown of the head, and will take away the bravery of their tinkling
ornaments.' And this duty of modesty,
in this instance, is expressly enjoined to all Christian women by St. Paul:
`That women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and
sobriety, not with broidered hair, or gold, or pearl, or costly array, but
(which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
9. As those meats are to be avoided which tempt
our stomachs beyond our hunger, so, also, should prudent persons decline all
such spectacles, relations, theatres, loud noises and outcries, which concern
us not, and are besides our natural or moral interest. Our senses should not,
like petulant and wanton girls, wander into markets and theatres without just
employment; but when they are sent abroad by reason, return quickly with their
errand, and remain modestly at home under their guide, till they be sent
10. Let all persons be curious in observing
modesty towards themselves, in the handsome treating their own body, and such
as are in their power, whether living or dead. Against this rule they offend
who expose to others their own, or pry into others' nakedness beyond the limits
of necessity, or where a leave is not made holy by a permission from God. It is
also said, that God was pleased to work a miracle about the body of Epiphanius
to reprove the immodest curiosity of an unconcerned person who pried too near,
when charitable people were composing it to the grave. In all these cases and
particulars, although they seem little, yet our duty and concernment is not
little. Concerning which I use the words of the son of Sirach, "He that
despiseth little things shall perish by little and little."
 Ecclus. vii. 21.-Ne occhi in lettera,
ne mano in tasca, ne orecchi in secreti altrui.
 Quem Deus tegit vercundiae pallio,
hujus maculas hominibus non ostendit.-Maimon. Can. Eth.
 Philip, iv. 8.
 At meretrix abigit testem veloque
seraque; Raraque Summaeni fornice rima patet.-Mart. i. 53.
 Tuta sit ornatrix: odi quae sauciat
ora Unguibus, et rapta brachia figit acu. Devovet, et tangit Dominae caput
illa, simulque Plorat ad invisas sanguinolenta comas.-Ovid. A.A.3 238.
 Isa. iii. 16-18.
 1Tim. ii. 9.
 (Edipum curiositas in extremas