ADVICE FOR PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN
You will probably feel that you are a solitary case, instead of one in a
giant minority scattered everywhere in the world. If parents could recall
other cases when friends of theirs had heard similar disclosures made by
children, the jolt would be far less. Being a homosexual does not negate
parental love, any more than God negates His love for His children when
they have fallen into sin. He still loves us. After kids tell their
parents of their homosexual involvement, at least their own inner struggle
has been externalized.
Your child is no tragedy. He is still your child. Knowing he is involved
in homosexuality does not erase all the joy and blessing he has been to you
over the years in growing up Just because you learned of his problem, does
it mean you cannot be the same loving mother you were a few hours before
you knew this? Has he changed? Wasn't this the same child you would do
anything for, even give your life to save his? Where is the love and
compassion which you displayed so easily before?
When your child reveals a piece of his own life to you, this is an
expression of deep trust. Making this disclosure to you is probably one of
the major decisions of his life. Your reaction will be long remembered.
What a terrific opportunity for all parents to show their loyalty and
allegiance to their child, when they are first aware he is caught in this
dilemma. Does the knowledge of it somehow cripple our ability to show our
allegiance to him?
Get across to him that you love him no matter what. This unconditional
love is what you must communicate to him. You love him, but you must hate
his sin because it hurts him. Regardless of his condition, you love him.
If he is caught in deep sin, willing to change, unwilling to change, or
even if he is too uptight to talk about it with you, make him aware that
your love does not depend on his behaviour. You can love him because of
his struggle, not in spite of it.
Keep your love flowing to your child in every possible way you can
demonstrate it. This will prevent stagnation and bitterness from settling
in your own heart. It will assure and insure him of this unconditional
love you are showing him which will remind him of God's love for him.
Stay close to the Lord. Sometimes, situations like this drive people to
God. If you were not in fellowship before this, you can be now. Praise
the Lord in the midst of this situation, knowing God will restore your
child in His time to complete fellowship. Be ready to welcome your child
with open arms, no questions asked.
Make your continual reflection be, "Praise the Lord anyhow!" This
situation came to you through God's special filter to purify your life and
make your family united in serving the Lord. Trials are to strengthen the
bonds, making them strong as cables. Let this trial deepen your faith and
make you precious metal for the Master's use, having the dross removed by
Above all wrap your child in love and present him to the Lord for Him to
restore in His own time programme. This commitment to the Lord will free
you to pray for the healing power of the Holy Spirit to invade and liberate
Keep Romans 8:28 forever in your heart. God's promise that, "all things
work together for good ..." even when things seem shattered, should take a
high position on the priority list for verses on suffering. To glibly
quote this without having been through this trial would be the height of
hypocrisy and phony love. But aim to saturate yourself with God's Word, so
that when you wake in the middle of the night with acute signs of anxiety
symptoms, you will hear the voice of the Lord whisper to you, "My child,
this will all work out for good because you love Me and are called for My
purposes." This saturation of helpful verses will be the kind of inner
urging from the Lord that heals.
Think about this:
"In love's service, only the WOUNDED can serve, for they alone understand
the cry of the bleeding heart."
This shattering you are feeling will one day be gone, and in it's place
will be a heart of love to minister to others who God will bring into your
life, because you have passed this cup of suffering trial. - - Barbara
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Barbara Johnson is a mother who has "been there". The discovery of her
son's homosexuality is one of the events described in her best-selling
book, Where Does A Mother Go To Resign? You can contact Barbara through
her ministry to parents of gays:
SPATULA MINISTRIESPO Box 444
Le Habra, CA 90631.
For further information about homosexuality or about other areas of sexual
brokenness, please contact:
LOVE IN ACTION
G.P.O. Box 1115
ADELAIDE SA 5001
Phone (08) 371-0446
This article is reprinted by permission from:
Love In Action
P.O. Box 2655
San Rafael California 94912
MINISTRY TO HOMOSEXUALS
Database Listing - Ministry To
Christian Resources on Homosexuality on the web
These documents are free from BelieversCafe.com
the complete christian resource site with more than 5000 webpages.