----- Part 2

"The road towards homosexuality begins with the first day of life. "Day

one" has great significance ... it is important that both parents are

present during this time ..."

The First Days Of Life

Dr Irving Bieber has said, "The family is the architect of homosexuality."

The road towards homosexuality begins with the first day of life. Day one

has great significance. It is in the first few moments of life that a

bonding takes place called intimate binding. This bonding between infant

and parents is of vital importance to their future relationships. Research

has shown that during the first 45-60 minutes of life, a child's state of

consciousness is in "state #4", which is the quiet, alert state. (There

are six states of consciousness, ranging from sleep to screaming.) During

state #4, the child can see, has visual preferences and will turn his head

toward someone speaking. He has been prepared for this important first

meeting with his parents. European hospitals are beginning to recognize

this important event and are making the proper atmosphere possible. But

American hospitals are slow to recognize this need and a mother should

ensure that she will be able to hold and comfort her baby right after birth

before signing into a hospital. The child who is whisked away faces a new

world of blinding lights, cold temperature and pain with no welcome. This

is rejection at its worst.

The Father's Part.

The father who is absent during this critical time is adversely affecting

his future relationship with his child. It is important that both parents

hold the child. The baby needs to know that he has a mother and also a

father. Some suggest that the husband hold the infant to his bare chest,

establishing the same kind of bond that occurs when the wife will nurse

their child. What is being established is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. When this

is firmly established, the child can weather any storm in life. He will

feel loved and affirmed. He will feel secure and protected. Dr. Bieber

also has a word on this subject: "We have come to the conclusion that a

constructive, supportive, warmly-related father precludes the possibility

of a homosexual son; he acts as a neutralizing protective agent, should the

mother make seductive or close-binding attempts."

Establishing Identity.

The father is significant in establishing the identity of both male and

female children. Charles W. Socarides in his book, The Overt Homosexual,

makes this statement: "The importance of the father to the child's

psychological development cannot be overestimated. To the boy he is the

model for masculine identification, giving him a feeling of security in

relation to the environment. For the girl it is the father's love which

creates a model for heterosexual love in adulthood."

The Consequences Of Rejection.

Many have said that the opposite of love is not hate (as most would

conclude), but indifference. In our eight years of counseling homosexuals

at Love In Action, San Rafael, most have not had a cruel father, but what

we call an emotionally-absent father. This subtle rejection is far more

damaging than a father who physically beats his child. With the abusive

father, there are usually times of closeness. Even the punishment

inflicted is in itself a relationship, and the absent father is usually

fantasized about. That is if he were present, he would be loving and

caring; however, the father who is present and indifferent presents the

stark image of total rejection. This rejection sets in motion a force that

becomes one of the preconditional factors of homosexuality.

The Search For Unconditional Love.

The child being denied his God-given right for unconditional love will seek

to have this need filled through others. For some, this unfulfilled need

will take them directly into homosexuality. Others will live with lives

severely damaged in other areas. Some totally withdraw from life and exist

in a fantasy world of their own making. Here they have their needs met and

as they depart from reality, they lay the groundwork for a life of

isolation loneliness, and rejection.


Database Listing - Ministry To Homosexuals.
Christian Resources on Homosexuality on the web

These documents are free from
the complete christian resource site with more than 5000 webpages.