----- Part 4

So far, we have discussed the consequences that result from a lack of

unconditional love in the life of a child. We have found that a

preconditioning package develops which includes fear, envy, and isolation.

Together, these make up the root causes of homosexuality. However, many

people in our society have had similar backgrounds and yet have not turned

to homosexuality to meet those unfulfilled needs. This causes us to

believe that there must be a second set of circumstances that directs a

person into this area. These secondary conditions we label triggers and

now we will discuss one of these triggers.

Lack of Identity Transfer.

We have received many letters saying that they are in agreement with our

thinking and that fear, envy, and isolation played a very important part in

their early lives. Yet, this is certainly not always the case. Some tell

me that they had a wonderful relationship with their father and that they

dearly loved old dad. Some even felt sorry for him, since mum ruled the

household with an iron hand. What is being described here is a peer

relationship with the father. While it is much more pleasant and is in

some respects a much more advantageous situation than having an indifferent

father, it is still an unhealthy relationship. In cases like this, an

identity transfer has not taken place. Though they loved dad, they most

certainly would never want to be found in his circumstances. Marriage is

viewed as something to be avoided at all costs.

Vows of Childhood.

This leads us to a very important trigger to the homosexual condition, what

we call the vows of childhood. In imbalanced family situations, children

frequently vow that they will never marry. Though it sinks into the

subconscious and is no longer remembered, this vow has great impact in

later life. A wise parent will occasionally ask their child if they want

to be married when they grow up. If the child blurts out, "No!" without

even considering the idea, this may be an indication that something is

amiss in family relationships.

Of course, there are many other vows children make besides not wanting a

wife. Many are hostility vows. The most prevalent one is, "I will get

even with my (father, mother, other) when I grow up." This may be because

of harsh or indifferent treatment toward the child, but it is also many

times directed toward one parent because of that parent's treatment of the

other parent. So many times, I have heard lesbians say that they vowed to

get even with their father (and men in general) because of his abusive

treatment of their mother. Many boys who are controlled by a dominant

mother vow to retaliate against this oppression. Their tactic may be to

develop manipulative practices where they have seemingly good relationships

with women, yet these relationships are designed to further their own ends.

As women meet their needs, they feel they are evening the score with their


Another vow may be to do exactly the opposite of what their parents want.

If the parents have great expectations for their child, the child may vow

to become a success at failure. Failure is the retaliatory measure that

expresses hostility toward being pushed toward impossible goals. A very

small number of homosexuals have entered the life-style simply because they

are certain it will strike at the heart of parents they deeply resent.

There is a vow that mother and son unknowingly take together. If the

father is absent, indifferent, or hostile, both will be looking for a man

that freely gives unconditional love. Their vow is, "I want a loving man!"

Mothers have no idea how they encompass their children in their search of

emotional fulfilment. God set up a plan for family relationships. When

imbalances occur, the results are disastrous to every family member.

Unconditional love must be the norm in a Christian home.


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