----- Part 5

After having read this far, some have said that it seems impossible to

conduct a family so carefully that imbalances leading to homosexuality will

not occur. If is not my intention to intimidate you, but to bring a

deeper understanding of the principles involved in homosexual development.

It is not a situation where extreme care must be taken and every move

weighed. The important thing is that the family is set up according to

Biblical standards.

The father must take his rightful place as head of the household. Along

with his wife, he must be loving and accepting to their children. They

both must value their children for what they are and not for what they do

or can become. The father is to be a role model for both male and female

children. For the daughter, he is to be an object of her love that will

eventually be transferred to the man she marries. He represents the

opposite sex to her and her attitude toward men is formed by his behaviour.

To the son, he is (or should be) the model for the son's adult life, It is

the duty of the father to equip his son to meet life's challenges. He must

impart enough knowledge so that the son feels adequate and secure in his


Often, I hear fathers say, "I tried to teach my boy about sports and he

just wouldn't listen." One man said, "I threw him the ball and he wouldn't

catch it or go after it." Fathers cannot understand why their efforts in

this area are rejected by the child. What has happened is that life

patterns have already developed by this age and it is extremely difficult

to change these patterns once they have developed. Most psychologists say

that life patterns are set by 36 months of age. Some say they are

established as early as 48 months. If any event, the ball-throwing years

come after the establishment of life patterns. The child who loves,

adores, and honours his father will want to cooperate and do what his

father wants. The child who resents and disrespects his father, or who

responds to his dad with the same conditional love that he receives, will

not desire to please his father by expected performance. So what is the

father to do at this point? He should always be willing to teach his child

the necessary skills so that he feels adequate among his peers. If the

child will not cooperate, he must get across to the child that he is always

willing to teach him any time he needs to learn.

Another Homosexual "Trigger".

What this is leading to is another trigger to homosexual behaviour: the

elevation of the same sex and the devaluation of the opposite sex. In the

case of a son, if the mother belittles her husband, if she is caustic and

ridicules him, this attitude will rub off on the son. He will come to

disrespect his father. However, this places him in a dilemma, since he is

also male like his father. The eventual result may be that he will hate

his father for his weaknesses and will begin a search for a strong male

figure that will make him feel good about himself. To defend himself, the

father may come on with a series of insults toward women in general that

will have a deep influence on the son's life. Many of us heard from our

fathers, "Women can never be satisfied; they are always demanding," or

"Women are out for all they can get." Such negative comments hurled

between mother and father influence a child's opinion about maleness and

femaleness in general. For some children, the subsequent search for a

strong male figure may bring the child into a world of fantasy. He buries

himself in comic books or in the super-heroes of TV and movies. He is

determined to find someone who will establish his identity and bring

security into his life.

In the case of a female child, the girl may hear from her mother, "Men

can't be trusted. They only want to use a woman," "Men are rapists," or

"Men carry diseases." Parents must be aware of the attitudes toward the

opposite sex that they are conveying to their children. Children have

almost a "sixth sense" regarding hostility and quickly pick up these

attitudes. If home life is unhappy for either or both parents, the child

knows this instinctively. Insecurity brings about a search for security,

and it is this search that many times leads to a homosexual lifestyle.


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