7 Ways to Avoid God.

I think of myself as an average person. I don't hate God. As

far as I know He has done me no harm. But I do find it difficult to

avoid God.

I am not an atheist. I am an agnostic. If there is a God I

don't want to know Him. I prefer to live my own life. The last thing

I want is for God to get in my way. So I have set out a personal

seven-point plan to avoid Him. With Bibles on display in bookstores,

and churches on almost every street corner, my task has not been easy.

But here is my procedure:

STEP ONE: I sleep Sunday mornings.

I personally don't find "sleeping in" that easy. I have the bad

habit of waking early, even on Sunday. But I have solved the problem.

I told my doctor I was having a difficult time sleeping and he gave me

some pills. About midnight on Saturday I swallow two pills and am

good until eleven o'clock Sunday morning, which conveniently is too

late to go to church.

STEP TWO: As a traveling man I keep hotel and motel dresser drawers

closed.

In many hotels and motels today a Bible will jump out at you if

you open a drawer. I enter my room, hang up my suitbag and leave my

other things in my open suitcase. I carry an off-color paperback with

me so if there is nothing to do in town at least I can read myself to

sleep. By the way, I don't accept literature from strangers. When

offered literature I politely tell people I am too busy to read it.

STEP THREE: I carefully choose my radio stations.

Many cities carry twenty-four-hour religious stations. Some of

their music is good but you must be wary because they may be

skillfully concealing a sharp hook. Right while enjoying a fine

recording, some preacher breaks in to tell you that you are a sinner

and need God. I am on to their tricks, so now I dial a station that

is really rocking and rolling and feel reasonably safe.

STEP FOUR: I avoid Christian businessmen.

In fact, I am a church member. I seldom attend, but my

membership has given me many good business contacts. But one must be

careful. I have discovered a fanatical brand of businessmen who would

rather talk to you about God then about gold. I don't question their

sincerity, but it takes money to feed a family, and that is my first

concern. When a Christian businessman invites me to church or for

Bible study, I usually back cut with, "I have a splitting headache"

(that sounds better than a hangover) "and just can't make it tonight."

STEP FIVE: I create my own gods.

I have a list of things I would like to do but never have time to

get done. So Sunday I play around with the most attractive items on

my list. I have come to feel that that is what Sunday is for. Every

person should have a hobby and I use Sundays to spend time on my

hobbies and to do my thing.

STEP SIX: I see to it that I am "master of my fate."

It is my privilege to choose to believe in God or to choose not

to believe. I accept the old Roman idea that death ends everything.

This makes the whole business of escaping God a lot easier. It allows

one to sing with the freedom of a bird, "Eat, drink, and be merry for

tomorrow we die."

STEP SEVEN: I can always kill myself.

This I call my desperate step. I don't really advocate it and

frankly, I am chicken. But I know it happens many times a day. Self-

destruction is a way of escape. However, it leaves me a little cold.

Questions pop into my mind. Is it a copout from life? Is it really

escape? Does one avoid God in this way or is death the solemn usher

that leads me into the presence of God?

Now that I have answered questions on what I can do to avoid God

I find myself faced with an even greater question. If there is a

Supreme Being who loves me, why should I try to avoid Him? Is my

attempt to hide from God inconceivable conceit? Would I not be wiser

and happier to accept His love? Is it not the fool who says in his

heart "There is no God?" Why run from God? His invitation is pretty

inviting for a man who is tired of running: "Come unto me, all ye

that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew

11:28)

After running for so long I gave God my worries and accepted His

rest. I found it so easy. I just said, "Jesus, You please take my

sin and I will take Your salvation." God and I made the trade and I

am no longer running, I am resting in His salvation. I have thrown my

list away. If you will do what I did, you won't need your list

either. "And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the

name of the Lord shall be saved" (Acts 2:21).

Written by: Dick Hillis

Computers for Christ - Chicago


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