I'M GAY ... OK?

by Martin Bennett

Some have dived head first into the whole gay scene, apparently

without hesitation. Others have been tugged in over a period of time,

and then some are still "holding out." Even the church can't deny

that many within it are having tremendous struggles with

homosexuality. Growing masses of gays are parading down the streets

with banners, pursuing a new found freedom to do what they want. But

the real things so many seek after - friendship, acceptance, and love

- elude them, remaining just outside their reach.

A man who at one time had given himself over to seeking pleasure

spoke the truth when he said that "Even in laughter the heart may be

in pain, and the end of joy may be grief." (Proverbs 14:13)

It's Not Good To BE Alone

The good memories of our lives usually aren't made of the things

we got or even what we did. It's who we were with that makes our

memories special to us. Good relationships. Unless we've been deeply

wounded, we want to be friends with others and enjoy the company of

another person who really cares for us. The problem is, whenever

you're in a relationship that can bring good things, hurts and

disappointments can come just as easily. We end up relating to those

with whom we feel comfortable and accepted.

Deep inside of everyone (straights included) there is a yearning

for something meaningful and real in relationships. But, by the

admission of those who have been there, the gay lifestyle delivers a

drop of pleasure and a gallon of loneliness and pain.

What is Homosexuality?

Before we go any further, we need to define what homosexuality

is, and isn't. It isn't just a strong attraction for those of the

same sex. Someone who is tempted to steal something isn't a thief

until he actually gives in to his desire, and someone who's been hurt

by another may feel like hating that person - but it's when he gives

himself over to this desire that he's stepped over the line. That

means giving your mind over in pursuing lustful thoughts (maybe

through pornography), or giving your body over to pursue these

desires. Just having some kind of homosexual encounter in your past

doesn't necessarily mean that you're "gay".

A homosexual is a person who not only has a strong attraction for

the same sex, but has also made the decision to yield to these

desires. The gay mentality or lifestyle aren't things you just

"stumble" into - you walk into them step by step.

Where Did It Start?

Maybe you always felt that you were just "different" - you know,

you didn't quite seem to fit the image of what most people thought was

a "real man" or a "real woman." No, you didn't seem to have much in

common with the deep-voiced hero who always saved the day, and playing

baseball wasn't any fun to you. Or as a girl you just "couldn't

relate to men." Or maybe the first person who ever showed you any

attention and kindness made it easy for you to start thinking that you

"must be gay."

Maybe you grew up in a place where homosexuality was just a

normal part of life. Maybe you were hurt so badly by a certain person

that you pulled away from them, and others of the same sex, to keep

from being hurt like that again. But in your heart you know that

anyone you become close to has the ability to hurt you, gay or

straight. Maybe you feel like you were just born the way you now are.

However you got to where you're at, if there's any sense that

something's "just not right" about how things are right now, the most

important thing is "Now what?" Well, let's start at the beginning


Why Did God Make Us?

If you're turned off to God right now, please give Him a chance

to explain Himself. Just as you may be misunderstood sometimes, God

has really been misunderstood. The One who designed you and knows

everything about you is the same One who cares about you more then you

even care for yourself.

God has given us life. After He made man and woman, He said that

what He had done was good. The heart of God is to give to others and

make them happy. His hopes were that they would enjoy His world and

enjoy His presence. He didn't expect that the people He had loved and

given to would want to shut Him out of their lives. Even though He

made the whole world and has continued to be good to all of us, for

the most part we don't want Him to have anything to do with our lives.

Remember this the next time you feel hurt and rejected, because Jesus

has been hurt and rejected in a much greater way. Still, His only

desire is that perhaps once again people will enjoy His world and His

presence in their lives.

The Manufacturer's Manual

"So what's wrong with being gay, anyway? It's my sexual

preference. What difference does it make? Didn't God make us the way

we are?" So many have struggled with homosexual desires that there's

a growing confusion as to whether or not it's wrong, and whether a

person can really be free from it all.

There are a lot of "experts" who seem to come up with a new

"answer" every day, but in order to get the unchanging truth, we need

to look into the Manufacturer's Manual - the Bible. God has made each

one of us in a special way, "custom designed" really. In fact, He

holds the only patent on the human race. So if anyone knows how we're

supposed to work the best ... He does! And to show us the right way

to live, He has given us the Bible - the most printed and read book in

the world. God wants us to be filled with real happiness, and through

the Bible He shows us the way to life, and the way to death.

The Law: For Us Or Against Us?

To keep us from destroying ourselves and each other, the Lord set

up certain laws. It's because He really cares about us that He did

this. Have you ever been at someone's house where the kids were

running all over the place, yelling, fighting, covered in dirt - and

the parents just stared at the T.V.? That's not love, is it? Besides

making everyone else miserable, the children themselves are suffering.

We have laws about speeding and drunk driving, too, to protect us, and

we know they're for our own good.

So God isn't some kind of kill-joy trying to prevent anyone from

having any fun, rather, His laws are to enable us to get the maximum

out of life. His rules aren't a bunch of arbitrary "does and don'ts"

either. They all make total sense when you stand back and take a look

at the whole picture.

Just about everyone recognizes the fact that murder is wrong. We

don't think it's wrong because there's a law against it, rather, we

made laws because it was wrong. If you said, "Hey, I don't like this

law of gravity. It's too confining. I want to be free..." and

proceeded to step out of a 10th. floor window-you'd end up destroying

yourself (and maybe someone else too!).

The law of gravity only recognizes reality. In the same way, the

laws of principles that God has given us in the Bible only show us the

way things really are.

We've been carefully designed, body, mind, and soul, for a

specific purpose, and have a responsibility to use our lives in a

right way. You know what happens to the tip of a pocket knife when

you try to use it for a screwdriver or a pry bar ... the tip breaks

off. That's because it wasn't designed for that purpose. It's the

same way with our lives.

It's when we misuse our lives for selfish reasons that everything

is knocked out of kilter. God loves each person, but hates

selfishness because He sees how it destroys us, our relationships, and

others. So God won't allow selfishness to spread easily. Why?

Because He loves us enough to keep us from destroying ourselves.

Don't Be Fooled

The Lord makes it clear that He never intended men and women to

be gay, and He also makes it clear that those who practice these

things cannot be at peace with Him or even at peace with themselves.

He told us a long time ago, "Don't fool yourselves. Those who live

immoral lives, who are idol worshipers, adulterers, or homosexuals -

will have no share in His kingdom." (1 Cor. 6:9-10 LB) And again He

warns us, "The penalty for homosexual acts is death to both parties."

(Lev.20:13 LB) Because of God's heart towards us, He has given us

these warnings for our own good.

Jesus said that He came to bring us life. Remember, He's the One

who designed you. He promises us that if we walk with Him, following

His good directions and commands, we'll have real happiness and there

will be peace in our hearts. But He also promises that if wee think

we know better, and push away from Him to follow our selfishness, the

exact opposite will happen to us. The tremendous spread of disease

among gays and immoral straights would not exist if we listened to the

instructions of God, which are for our own protection, good and


Turning From God

Here's how the Scriptures say people end up far away from God -

"Yes, they knew about Him all right, but they wouldn't admit it or

worship Him or even thank Him for all His daily care. And after

awhile they began to think up silly ideas of what God was like and

what He wanted them to do. The result was that their foolish minds

became dark and confused." (Rom. 1:21 LB)

This is what happens: 1) At some point in our life we know about

God and know He's real. 2) We don't agree with Him and so we're

ungrateful. Instead of thanks, we complain about this and that. 3) We

start looking for excuses and false reasons; we speculate, hoping to

justify our selfish desires. 4) Wandering away from the truth that we

once knew, we walk into darkness and error.

Then God says that "They exchanged the truth of God for a lie,

and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator." (Rom.

1:25) Of course, this applies to all people that have turned form God,

but if you've been around the gay scene in any way, you know that men

and women end up worshipping and serving their bodies. A cruising

homosexual in the Tenderloin of San Francisco said, "The trading of

bodies in a gay bar is the most insensitive thing on earth. It is

degrading and repulsive, because most gay bars are now just

information whorehouses, dispensing gossip, pamphlets, and raising

money for political causes." (Two of Me, by David Wilkerson, p.7.)

God Gives Up

What would you do if you were in the Lord's position? He wants

the best for us, but we just won't listen. When people get to the

point that they don't care at all about what's right or true anymore

because they've traded the truth for a lie, God throws His hands up in

the air and says, "O.K., go ahead and do what you want." "For this

reason God gave them over to degrading passions." (Rom 1:26) We crave

and desire and pull so hard, like a dog on a leash wanting to run in

the street, that although it breaks His heart to do so, the Lord

finally cuts the leash and lets us go where we want.

This is the rest of the Scripture, "For this reason God gave them

over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural

function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men

abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire

towards one another, men with men committing indecent acts and

receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error." (Rom.

1:26-27) Please don't let anyone tell you that the "natural function"

of a homosexual is for members of the same sex, and that it would be

"unnatural" for them to be heterosexual. (This is a common argument

among some groups.) There is no Scripture upholding gay sex, and the

Lord calls gayness itself error.

The Real Problem

The real problem here is nothing new, and it's not unique to

people faced with homosexual desires. The problem is trying to do

what's right when you feel like doing something else. Everyone

struggles with desires and temptations for things that aren't good.

Even Jesus struggled with similar temptations. You see, for the most

part, desires by themselves aren't good or bad. Even having strong

temptations every day isn't evil (but it is hard).

A person with a weight problem may love hot fudge sundaes? They

may have loved them as far back as they can remember. Can they just

decide to hate hot fudge sundaes? Could you? Of course not. But

they can decide to yield to God and seek His help to do what is right,

despite the desires in the opposite direction.

On the other hand, somebody else might have a tremendous desire

to love and serve God with all of his heart - but he never really gets

around to doing anything pleasing to the Lord. Do you think that God

will say, "Oh well, at least he wished he was doing right"? Can you

imagine standing in front of a judge in traffic court saying, "But

your honor, I really wanted to stop at that red light"? He's not

going to care at all what you wanted to do, what he wants to know is,

what did you end up doing?

The Battleground

The battle is not over your desires, but over your will. The

people that the Lord gave up to their selfish desires are not people

who couldn't do what was right, but people who wouldn't do what was

right. Jesus said, "And this is the judgment, that the light is come

into the world, and men loved the darkness rather then the light; for

their deeds were evil." (John 3:19) It's not just a matter of liking

the darkness. No, loving the darkness is a intense clinging with no

letting go.

When we give in to the temptations of the enemy (yes, the devil

is very real), we can't blame God for making us that way. The One who

sees to the core of our hearts says that, "Each one is tempted when he

is carried away and enticed by his own lust." (James 1:14) We're not

dragged into rebellion by the way we grew up either, although many

times our childhood experiences make it easier to rebel. But in the

end, we make our own choices. We decide to give in. We are enticed

by our own lust.

Whoever or whatever you yield yourself to is your god. If what

you "feel" like going determines what you do, then your feeling are

your god. If what you crave after overcomes your will, then the

appetite of your flesh is your god. AS a gay man put it, "My desires

took over my reasoning."


Some of us hate the word - "guilt." But guilt serves a very good

purpose. The very presence of guilt proves that we can do what is

right. If your boss gave you a shovel and told you to fill in the

Grand Canyon in one afternoon, you wouldn't feel guilty for not doing

it, would you? Of if your coach asked you to jump a 50 foot wall, you

wouldn't feel bad about not being able to do it, because you know you


It's when we can do what's right and we don't do it that we feel

guilty. We feel that way because we know we should be doing something

else. God sends guilt to us as an alarm. Just like the pain in a

stubbed toe, the message being sent is, "Something is wrong." When

the red lights of your conscience go off telling you "Danger! Danger!"

and you keep pushing, slowly you lose your feeling of guilt. The

Bible says that in the last days many people will be "seared in their

own conscience as with a branding iron." (1 Tim. 4:2) Just because you

may not feel as guilty as you used to is not a sigh that you're safe -

far from it.

Can I Be Free?

If you're wondering if God will fix up your life, the answer is

no, He Won't. He wants to give you a totally new life. Face it - you

can't change your desires, and without the power of the Living God in

your life, you can't even change your actions because you're a slave

to your appetites. Jesus said that "You shall know the truth, and the

truth shall make you free." (John 8:32) But you can't be set free

from the power of strong desires and wrong actions until you first

admit that you're a slave. You must see that you've been wrong for

giving in to these desires if you're guilty of doing that.

When you humble yourself before the Lord, admitting your guilt

and shame, giving the reins of your life completely over to Him, then

Jesus will come to you with loving forgiveness and life-changing

power. As you yield your will to Jesus, He will lead you into the

life of wholeness and peace that you've always really desired. God is

what has been missing in your life all this time.

The Lord moves in different ways in each persons life. Some

people are instantly delivered from the power of these desires when

they cry out to the Lord. Other are set free as they continue to

follow Jesus, making right choices, and allowing His power to release

them from years of wrong thought patterns and actions.

If you wonder if it's really possible, even the very first

Christians know the freedom that Jesus brought:

"And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you

formerly walked ... Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts

of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and

were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest. But God being

rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even

when we were dead in our sins, made us alive together with Christ."

(Eph. 2:1-5)

Jesus really does care for you and always has. He's not only

willing to take away all of your guilt and shame, but if you will turn

to Him with your heart, turning away from all you know to be wrong, He

will give you a new life. That means not just turning from

homosexuality, but from anything that holds you back from giving

everything to the Lord: drinking, anger, hate, unforgiveness, love of

money, lying ... all those things. It may sound too simple, but the

testimony of those who were once bound by homosexuality can confirm

that the Lord is telling the truth.

"As I discovered the intense, intimate love of God for ME, I was

set free from that consuming drive which had held me a slave to

perversion." (The Man In The Mirror, by Sy Rogers)

"I have truly come out now. I have come out from the hell I was

living. I have come out of the gay closet. And that's what it was -

a closet ... a dark, closed-in, cluttered, confusing lifestyle - from

which there is only one exit. That exit is Jesus and He has set me

free." (How I Came out, by Mark Pierpont)

Does all this sound too foolish and too simple for such a deep

problem? Then you haven't seen the power of God. "For the word of

the cross is to those who are perishing foolishness, but to us who are

being saved it is the power of God ... the foolishness of God is wiser

than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men." (1 Cor.


I'm not saying it's going to be easy. It will probably be a

battle all the way, but Jesus came to us and went through horror,

overcoming the enemy so that we could live life at peace with God once

again. Don't try to hide from Him. He can change your heart and your

life if you will only yield to Him. He really cares about you, but if

you continue to let yourself be dragged around by your desires, you

will destroy yourself in this life and, in the end, you will stand

before a God from whom you can find no hiding place. There is still

time, and still hope. It's not too late for anyone who is really

serious. Reach out to Jesus ... He's waiting for you.

Computers for Christ - Chicago

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